Does Aprei ski gear stop you getting to heaven coz you know, what goes on in Thredbo stays there?

I was thinking about writing a Blonde version of the bible, but, it looks a bit hard, I mean there are so many mean folks that say, I have to get it right or I get cursed, how mean surely if an Aussie version to the bible exists in Aussie lingo, why not a blond one where facts dont get in the way of a good story, I mean, what was the last verse anyway, thou shalt not covert my nationality? Similar?