How do I resolve abandonment issues...?

..Hi there, Fear of Abandonment Issue is something you are going to have work through, and having the help of a counsellor or therapist would also be highly recommended..I say this because of the many, many elements this entails, and of course from my own experiences for many years..This will, as you are already experiencing your self, have an affect on all of our relationships, and if not dealt with, you will probably go through many intimate, personal relationships until you have found the closure with this that you will need to move on..Fear of abandonment issues most often leaves us feeling like we are on a continuous emotional, mental, and physical roller coaster, for the majority of time..We cannot and do not get settled because all of the other negative thoughts and feelings that come with this one issue, continue to bombard us..We not only "do not" trust our self or others, we "cannot" trust others because we have not yet dealt with this one very important and major, underlying issue of abandonment..We have a tendency to try and smother those, especially in our intimate relationships, (although we choose not to look at this in this way) we have a deep seeded fear of rejection, we have no self or other sense of security, and we are also prone to drinking a little to much at times just to try and rid our self of all this negative baggage we carry around..We can go through many relationships that often will leave us wondering, what we have done, and until we address this one issue, nothing will go very well for us for very long as we also have a tendency for sabotage..Under the abandonment lie all these other issues but once thoroughly dealt with, these other issues will come into a totally different light for us..Although everything will become quite clearer, it is also very important to (later) check in with our self, that we do not fall into the traps that we have had years of experiencing and living with in our own life to keep us safe, so we thought..There are also some very god books written on Fear of Abandonment which I highly recommend you begin reading..I do believe, and it sounds like you are now ready to deal with this issue, to begin to search out with all honesty, all of the underlying hurt & pain you have been and are still carrying, and to finally have the closure you so well deserve..It is not easy carrying this baggage around daily and often we just want to sleep away our lives, but this is not possible, so do what you have to, starting today and go get 1 or 2 books, either from the library or bookstore...Now is your time, so take all that you need "just for you", and allow your girlfriend to do the same..I can and will ure you, that you will be a completely changed person for the best in all ways, when you have finally once and for all, dealt with and healed from all of this..Anytime you want to email me for any reason or have a question, please feel free..It does not have to take you as long as it took me to recover, but I am sure glad I did, and you will be too...All the best to you and please, do take much care...